(Upbeat, synth-heavy pop intro with a playful digital beat)
(Verse 1)
Used to have a cape made from a beach towel
Saved the world from aliens before my dinner
Knees were always scraped up, I was a rebel
Thought the biggest problem was a broccoli sinner
I had a five-year plan at age eleven
Be a pop star, own a cheetah, live on Mars
Now my biggest dream is sleeping past seven
And trying to figure out these loyalty cards
(Pre-Chorus)
I was so sure I’d get the secret handbook
A little cheat sheet with a glossy cover
But I’m just winging it, taking a wild look
And calling my mom to ask about the oven
(Chorus)
Oh, growing up is a weird inside joke
That nobody ever told me
I traded my treehouse for being flat broke
And bedtime stories for strong coffee
Where are the jetpacks and the laser beams?
I’m just here trying to assemble a shelf
It’s not quite like my childhood dreams
I’m making it up, surprising myself!
(Verse 2)
Got my driver’s license, felt so cool and grown-up
Singing off-key, cruising 'round the block
Now I'm just in traffic, totally wound up
Worried ‘bout the ticking of my biological clock… just kidding!
But I do pay bills now, what a crazy riot
I buy my own cereal, the healthy kind with twigs
I told my younger self, "You'd never try it!"
Now I'm debating the ethics of figs
(Pre-Chorus)
I was so sure I’d get the secret handbook
A little cheat sheet with a glossy cover
But I’m just winging it, taking a wild look
And Googling "how to be a functioning adult lover"… or whatever.
(Chorus)
Oh, growing up is a weird inside joke
That nobody ever told me
I traded my treehouse for being flat broke
And bedtime stories for strong coffee
Where are the jetpacks and the laser beams?
I’m just here trying to assemble a shelf
It’s not quite like my childhood dreams
I’m making it up, surprising myself!
(Bridge)
My back hurts when I sleep a little funny
I get excited over a new frying pan
I say things like, "That's a good use of money!"
I’m my own parent, and I’m my biggest fan
I'm still the same kid who scraped up their knees
Just with more debt and a better skincare routine!
(Chorus)
Oh, growing up is a weird inside joke
That nobody ever told me
I traded my treehouse for being flat broke
And bedtime stories for strong coffee
Where are the jetpacks and the laser beams?
I’m just here trying to assemble a shelf
It’s not quite like my childhood dreams
I’m making it up, surprising myself!
(Outro)
Surprising myself, yeah!
(Beat continues)
Where’s my jetpack?
Seriously, I was promised a jetpack.
(Synth fades with a final playful "boing" sound)